benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
