I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
