I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
