am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
