I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
