can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Randomize
