Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
