i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
