White coat. Heels.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
