real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
