Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It's just like the Real World with babies
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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