they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
