now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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