so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
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i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
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she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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