idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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