I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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