I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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