is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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