It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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