i think my mom watched the whole time
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
