i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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