I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Boobs speak an international language.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
