we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
you never un-have a 4some
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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