my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
