yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
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My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
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Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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