ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
