I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
