did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
