i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
