If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
