I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
