I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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