1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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