Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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