glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
