Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
