this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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