Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
