Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
