i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
