how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
