i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My dick has a subreddit
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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