this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
God I need to hump something, right now.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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