My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize