Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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