Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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