I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
and she was petting her beer can
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
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I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
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It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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