He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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