I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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