I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
