if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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