hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Send help, water and tortillas.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
