wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
