I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
