Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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