Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
your room smells of hookers.
And success
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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