Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
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you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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