I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
we're making bets on your personal life
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
