Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
