Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
