she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Randomize
