Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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