found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Panties = found
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