Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
